I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
