Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I'll check it out in the morning. Tonight has been reserved for getting baked and covering myself in kittens because THAT IS AN OPTION.
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
