Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
Lesson: Never rollerskate with a 40 in your hand unless you have a destination.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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