you told him you liked to chip your nail polish to look like different countries. im gonna guess that no, you didn't sleep with him.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
you went all the way to UK and still managed to hook up with someone from our highschool...
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
She's dipping the chocolate graham crackers in marshmallow vodka for a 'campfire taste'
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I cNt phones. tingles in my fingles. jingles
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
