I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Randomize
