From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
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