yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
The walls are thin & apartments are narrow so all the bedrooms are next to each other. Our complex could compete in synchronized orgasms.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Randomize
