He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
How did you not realize the handbrakes were stuck?
I thought I was just out of shape.
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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