I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
I told you for Halloween we just need to let the loins free! Let the girth come to us in a flock, drenched with passion!
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Randomize
