No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
It was a blind-side dick pic.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
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