Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I hate closet cases. I've been wooing this chick the entire quarantine. We finally meet up tonight, we're two drinks in, I've got my hand half way up her skirt and her husband calls. She promised to bring home dinner.
Randomize
