i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
Do you think my laundromat will notice that the bloodstain on my sheets is in the shape of a face?
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Randomize
