i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
It was fine until they started lighting shots of everclear on fire and making ME take them. That's when shit went down...
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Congratulations! We have a period
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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