What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Okay, let's just all take a step back and think about how funny this will seem in like a year... Maybe 2 if his nose is actually broken.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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