They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
