My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
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