Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Know what the best part of waking up for work after a drinking vacation is? It's an easy question. Nothing. Nothing is the best part of that.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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