just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
