i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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