how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
sitting in a shitty karaoke bar playing pokemon go and drinking a mimosa. how is your sunday night
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
