i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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