yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
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