im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
And we should impose a 'friends don't let friends order 25 shots at last call' rule
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
What a dumb baby whore.
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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