All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
I FOUND THE LEGS
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
