It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
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