is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
vagina is talking i cant
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
