what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Your job is getting in the way of our day drinking. Shots on the hour are not as cool alone.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
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