First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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