Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
Woke up with 5 texts apologizing from a number I named "guy who elbowed me in face"
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
