one might say we're banned from that church
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
