You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
you have a wonderful penis attached to someone I'm having a lot of problems with right now
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
I just threw up vodka and hot dogs in a handicapped stall with someone in it who couldn't make me leave because he couldn't walk.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just need you to stay far enough away that I can't smell your cologne. I completely forget that I fucking hate you as soon as I smell it.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize