your room smells of hookers.
And success
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Everyone says I win the strip club
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
Randomize
