I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
BGSU move in weekend. Just passed a house w a beer pong table set up, ppl already playing, girls holding signs that say "son drop off". It's 10:30 am.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
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