wake up i wanna do it froggy style
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
this is worse than the time i threw up a condom.
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
FINE YOU CAN EAT HOT WINGS WHILE WE HAVE SEX
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
Randomize
