I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
Abreva sucks. I applied it as directed and now it looks like I fed the herpes. They're throwing a party on my bottom lip.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
