i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Dude my body has gone into shock from not eating frozen pizza and chips. I've been shitting like Richard Simmons after a night out of twerking in a corn field
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
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