Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
Totally about to meet up with Ryan in an empty parking lot. Expect to fuck him. Yes I know it's 3am. Slutty? Possibly. Excited? Damn right.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Randomize
