Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize