i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
Alas, very true. I'll sell some of my eggs and give you like 10%
And with my 90% I'll get a scooter with a sidecar. And a pony. Also with sidecar.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
I am naked and annoyed.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Randomize
