three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
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