sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
