Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I take back everything I said about communal showers
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
Randomize