dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
