Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
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