Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
is this the sara with the beer cane?
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
He told me i had to sleep under his bed. He said it would be my castle.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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