she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Randomize
