I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Randomize
