also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
He told me to tell my ass that he loved and missed it, and even though he hasn't known it long, it might be the one for him
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
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