Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
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