i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
There's a lady carrying her kids toy animals in a crown royal bag. Mom of the year.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
