brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
Randomize
