You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
You stood next to him taking HUGE gasps of air in an attempt to second hand smoke his cig because you didn't have one...
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
My ass is underappreciated
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Remember, today is also the anniversary of Harambe's death. D**** out.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
