Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I just puked so hard I pissed myself. Outta my ass. I just won hangover of the century.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
