Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
Randomize
