I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
