There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
They are the perfect team. One always has weed, the other always has cigarettes. They're like the Batman and Robin of drugs
I got inside last night via doggy door
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
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