I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Im still in bed and cant move and i only had Two beers and a shot last night... how did I make it in college?
God gave us a 4 year grace period.
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
throwing up in the shower isnt as glamorous as i expected
since when the fuck is that glamorous?
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
it's the international house of making me almost fucking shit myself
Randomize
