Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
True Life: I hate vaginal excretions
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
i told her i wanted to be the Neil Armstrong of her vagina,
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
mother daughter bonding time. she's helping me make jello shots.
Randomize
