I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
Randomize
