I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
If you dont get laid dressed as Woody Harrelson in Zombieland, I have lost all faith in the men of nw Indiana.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
Randomize
