have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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