what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Randomize
