If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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