lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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